It was Saturday, a half-day working day of the Swedish Trading Company where Mitsuko was working. Some were having fun going shopping, seeing movie, and others were going out on dates. Mitsuko made a decision to go to Enkaku Temple to do Zazen.
Before going to the temple, Mitsuko went out for lunch at Chinatown with three of her close friends. They have had questions about zazen, so Mitsuko said to them,
“You don’t learn anything from talking, so all of you come with me to the temple someday, if you really want to know.”
One young man asked, “Does your leg hurt sitting legs folded like that?”
“Counting the number ten to twenty while you sit, seems a wasting of time for me” said the middle-age woman.
“If you assure me to resolving the problems my messed up life, I will think about it” said young beautiful lady.
“With zazen you might be resolving any of your problems” Mitsuko said.
“No. How can it be?” Three of Mitsuko’s friends were interested to hear that.
“You may be able to change your view at the problems in a new light, and also you may understand the purpose of your life.”
“I want to know the purpose of life” said a young man.
“I already have a purpose of my life which is to get married, have babies and to have a wonderful family. Can I find a good men in the Temple?” said the beautiful young woman.
“Tokyo University and Waseda University students are coming” said Mitsuko.
“My friends said that our lives steadily advance to death, so our ultimate purpose of life is the death. Isn’t it sad to think that way?” the young man said.
“It is only hardship in our life” said the middle-age woman.
“Wow! I’m seriously thinking about attending the temple” said young man.
“You said you can’t bear the pain of your legs.”
“Does it really hurt?”
“Yes, it hurt, but I can sleep even though I’m in pain.”
Three of them laughed at Mitsuko because they know Mitsuko was able to sleep anywhere. The Young man asked Mitsuko to take him to the temple next time. The others said they would like to go to the temple on New Year’s Eve to ring the bell and to go see the New Year’s sunrise at Sagami Bay. Mitsuko and her friends were enjoying their lunch and talking and laughing.
Watching the sceneries which were changing to the autumn color from the electric train window, Mitsuko was thinking about the things that happened last four or five years since Mitsuko started to attend the Temple.
Mitsuko graduated the university with difficulty because of her English record. However, she had obtained the teaching certificate for English and Japanese. She tried to get teaching position at the several schools. Even Professor Gaka said he would recommend her to his school, but Mitsuko could not accept his offer. Thinking about Professor Gaka, Henkutsu tea teacher, and Enkaji Temple’s Roshi (the Head priest of the temple), she was scared with the responsibilities of teaching those children.
At the same time, many marriage proposals were brought to her life. Mitsuko’s mother and auntie were giving Mitsuko the photos of candidates for omiai (to meet the person for marry.) These men had colorful backgrounds; such as a politician, a tea-teacher, and an artist. A co-worker and one of Professor Gaka’s group members were asking Mitsuko to have a date. I heard later that the politician was a successful politician, and the artist became very famous. One from the Professor Gaka’s group had a cancer and passed away couple of years later. His mother rejected Mitsuko to marry him because Mitsuko was couple of years older than him. Mitsuko understood that Mitsuko slept in the electric train while they were going to have lunch. Mitsuko was given another photo and personal history from her landlord in Roppongi. Mitsuko was thinking about this.
“Kita-Kamakura” the conductor said. The voice brought Mitsuko back to the present time. There were more than three hours before Zazen started, so Mitsuko wondered around the town, and ate oshiruko (Japanese sweet.) Now she had to rest a little to prepare herself for Zazen. When she was sitting and resting at the back stairway of the main temple, the woman who was taking tea ceremony lesson with the same teacher of Mitsuko came to Mitsuko, and said,
“Hello! I heard you have been here quite a long time, but I have ever seem you before. How are you doing?”
“Thank you! I’m glad to see you. I also heard that you were here.”
Then, she started to talk about the temple Mitsuko didn’t know about. She stayed at the women’s quarter where Zazen-jo included. She came early morning and practiced Zazen there all day. She was so happy because the Roshi called her to meet the day. She could say in front of Roshi “I was deep in the Buddha’s bosom” while she was looking the Roshi. Roshi didn’t say anything but gave her big mile. She said she was so happy that. Then, she said good evening and left.
Sending her off, Mitsuko thought how could it be. If people are deep in the Buddha’s bosom, how people could exist and lose oneself. Well, the time came, Mitsuko went to the Zazen-do and was told she was called by Roshi that night. She was thinking and expecting that the thoughts like the lady would be flashed across her mind in front of Roshi. Thinking those things anxiously, Mitsuko’s fingers might be out of shape. Tapping Mitsuko’s shoulder with the stick made Mitsuko up, so that she bent down her upper body as she was told and was patted her should and back. Now she could be doing Zazen well.
Coming to see Roshi had always been strained. Announcing her name out-side of the fusuma (door like) of the Roshi’s room Mitsuko waited Roshi’s response. Mitsuko entered the room and bowed nine times (san-pai kyu-hai no rei – kind of worshipping) to Roshi, and then, sat in front of him. Roshi was sitting in front of Buddha alter. Nothing came to Mitsuko’s mind, so Mitsuko’s mind was busy to think this and that. Roshi was able to see Mitsuko’s unsteady and anxious mind, and said one word, “Mu.” Mitsuko went back to Zazen-do and continued Zazen.
This time Mitsuko didn’t over sleep and did samu (cleaning) and any necessary things in the following morning. Toki-no-bo-san announced to attend the Roshi’s talking after the finishing morning practice. The following is the Mitsuko’s understanding of the Roshi’s talking:
“Buddha says that it is suffering all our life. To live is continuous suffering and it will happen with karma. All the things will not exist independently, but existing depending each other. The life is only suffering, so finding out the cause of suffering, and trying to take the cause out from one’s life. For this purpose, people should extinguish one’s desire, and should do necessary of the training. Well, what is training? Buddha continuously says, that is “Hasshodo” means the viewing of justly; the thinking justly, the trying justly, the carrying justly, and the mental concentrating justly.”
How can anyone live perfectly righteous? To Mitsuko, it is same as called a “sinner” at Christian group meeting. However, Roshi said anyone can obtain this perfect righteous life by training oneself. The sin mentioned by Christian would not solve by our own effort, said by the Christian. Mitsuko was so confused after she heard Roshi’s talking.
There wasn’t Toki-no-bosan in the Zazen-do, but his note said to stay for lunch. Honda-san and some other people said they accepted the offer. Mitsuko would also like to stay for lunch. All of those staying for lunch were sitting together around the kitchen table and discussed what Roshi said. Mitsuko had a chance to ask them about her question “after death.” One said that he doesn’t want to be coming back in any form of animals and he had no confidence to go to where Buddha is. Another one said that he read Buddha had put aside those unsolvable matters, such as after death, the world life after or the existence of the soul. Honda-san said that it couldn’t be avoided to think about the death, it is as important as any other matters, but how to live this present life is much important as Roshi talked this morning.
Toki-no-bosan came back with the foods for lunch. Cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers were on the table. The cheese sandwich and salad was served and enjoyed those tasty lunches.
It was said that Buddha enlightened for his own philosophy on December 8. For one week concentration Zazen before the December 8 was held every year. 22 hours from 4:00 AM to 2 AM next day spent for Zazen. Mitsuko was attending this concentrated Zazen almost every year. Each year, on the way home Mitsuko wondered what she can get during the week of Zazen. One thing she could surely think was the satisfaction of the completion, and awful coldness.
In August same type of the concentrated one week Zazen was held. This time the Zazen was done in the hot, hot weather. The perspiration was rolling down in the half opened eyes while sitting. The wind blown into the Zazen do made people feel very refreshing.
At the end of the week, mushi-boshi (putting air into the treasures for preservations) was also held. On one occasion, the larger picture of Buddha’s nirvana was hung on one of the widest walls. It should be the picture of the time of the death of Buddha, but it was very beautiful picture and no shadow of death could be seen in it. Ten Buddha’s disciples and animals, flowers and trees around Buddah were crying in the death of Buddah.
Mitsuko remembered the picture of the Jesus hanging on the wall of Professor Gaka’s home. Professor Gaka told Mitsuko that the comparison of the religion was not a good idea, however, Mitsuko was thinking of those two pictures. On the head of Jesus there are thorn of crown which made him bleed, and Jesus’ blood was rolling down from where the nail was drove in His hands and legs, and from his shoulder and back whipped. Why Jesus had to die so ugly and miserable way, Mitsuko thought. Mitsuko thought she would like to die like Buddha peacefully and beautifully. However, it is much important to think how to live than how to die.
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I’d like to give the following recipe of the dip to Toki-no-bosan. He’ll enjoy it.
Dip
For sliced green Pepper, carrots, cucumber, celery or mushrooms
Various crackers
1. For vegetarians
½ cup Sour Cream
½ cup Mayonnaise
½ bag Ranch Powder Dressing
Mix these three ingredients
Add other items to make tastier
1 Tbs. Graded onion or cucumber
1 Tbs. Chopped celery or parsley
2. For non-vegetarians
Add these items
½ cup Crab meat or shrimp
Fried crunchy bacon, crumbs
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